Out Through A Window, Into Your Mind
by Raindapple16
Summary: A story. A wish. A star. All these things weave together to create a relationship that should not be possible. Yet strange things happen in this world. One moment, you feel like you carry the weight of the universe. The other, you find yourself simply... free. Young Physician Amèlie Kramer's life quickly escalates in an unexpected relationship, and a war she cannot escape from.
1. Prologue: I Promise

**Welcome to my newest fanfic! I'm Raindapple16, if you don't know me from my other story, Shattered. As always, the prologue is short, but the chapters after will be much longer. I usually take about two weeks or so in updating Shattered, but ongoing two stories will mean difficulties in updating so frequently. My profile will have the predicting update date for both stories.**

 **Please enjoy!**

* * *

 **Prologue: I Promise**

He stood in that meadow filled with wind and grass. He continued walking, destination unknown, purpose unknown.

 _"From this day on, you shall no longer reside on this kingdom,"_ announced Odin. _"You will be sent to a war front at Midgard, and unless you find love in that frozen heart of yours, you will remain there forever. You shall be bound to that place, unable to go beyond it. Those boundings will prevent you from attempts of harming yourself or suicide. Your magic will be graciously given back to you, and it will not be taken away as long as you do not attempt to leave. "_

Loki shook his head, trying to get rid of the memories. But they danced around him like shadows, reminding him of every humiliating moment he had experienced in his life.

 _"Did you hear how Thor has replaced him as the next heir to the throne? Well, Thor was always the better brother, anyway. Honestly, I'm not surprised."_

 _"I heard he plotted in mere jealousy. How immature."_

 _"Banished and gone. Thank goodness he's no longer in Asgard. He almost destroyed us."_

 _"Did you hear that he's not even Odin's actual son? Taken from a temple of Jotunheim, I hear. I pity Odin who had to take care of such a being. No wonder he always favored Thor."_

 _"He's been reduced to nothing, like he deserves. I hope that takes away that indestructive pride of his. It's not like I didn't know it'll end like this. His cause was always doomed."_

Loki gritted his teeth. Green fire flashed from his hands, reflecting the endless forest in his eyes.

Every insult he had received, every humiliation he had received … was because of how much Odin favored Thor over him. Ever since childhood, Thor had been given the best of everything. However, when Thor had been banished to Midgard, held responsible for a massive carnage, Loki had been left as the only heir eligible for the throne. He had expected and predicted it excitedly, imagining how it would be like to be more important than his brother.

Things took an unexpected twist, however, when he had realized how Odin had stolen - _stolen_ \- him from a temple of Jotunheim. In a moment of vengeance, he had joined in with the giants of Jotunheim to attack Midgard. It had resulted in millions of deaths, as well as a now war-torn country.

That war front was where he was being sent to.

But he would soon be free. As Odin said, he would have to 'let love into his heart'. So? He would just manipulate someone. Then he would watch Asgard burn for all what they had done to him.

Loki continued walking through that windful, grassful meadow. He still did not know where he was going.

After what seemed like ages of torture, he had been sent to this meadow. The last thing he remembered was Odin. And his face of satisfaction.

He remembered being dragged through the city in chains: bloody, broken, beaten.

He remembered Thor's pained face as he did.

He remembered Odin's look of anger, grief, and disappointment. An expression he had always worn to him, even at childhood.

He remembered … he remembered … he _remembered_.

And Loki did not want to remember.

Once more he gritted his teeth and continued to walk through the meadow. He heard the birds chirp, the flowers bloom, and that clear, clear sky. The nextmere happiness of the landscape got him irritated of it.

Whispers containing of both the past and future continued to hover around him, but Loki ignored them. He had more important matters in his mind.

He found himself standing on top of a high, tall cliff. He wondered if he would die if he fell. Perhaps that was for the better.

The whippings he had received ached against his back. Despite his pledge to never show weakness in front of others, he was already about to collapse from walking almost a day. The cliff seemed to be the perfect option, an escape from his damned, humilated life.

But there had to be a reason why there was a death choice in front of him. If the gods wanted him dead, they would have already done it back in Asgard.

 _No,_ Loki realized. This meadow was another pathway between the realms of Asgard and Midgard. When he jumped, he will be at that war front, his punishment Odin had warned him of. He realized he had no choice. The gods had planned him to end up at this cliff, and he had no more options.

Loki had every intention of watching Asgard burn. And this meadow would go down with it.

That was a promise, one he would keep, no matter what.

And so, he jumped.

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	2. Chapter 1: Bright Morning, Bright Day

**Chapter 1: Bright Morning, Bright Day**

 _Five Months Later_

Bright morning sunlight filtered through the small gaps of the makeshift hospital. A crepuscular ray shone through the sky, breaking through the high clouds and illuminating the dust particles in the air. At the same time, a shrill, piercing sound rang the air, signalling the start of their morning activities.

Amèlie Kramer internally sighed as her eyes opened, having taken the night shift the night before. Already nurses were bustling everywhere, ready to help and ready to go in action. Most of the surgeons were awake as well, most likely having taken the morning shift. The moans of patients restarted in Amélie's ears, something she was used to by now.

Beside her straw mattress, the only kind of comfort the hospital afforded to provide, lay a bowl of dry cereal and a half cup of water. Their rationing was evidently running out, especially since they were nearing the end of the month.

Next to the food, a small note was there, informing her the conditions of her patients.

 _Patient 49571 is in a bad condition, but is healing. Check up on him._

Amèlie frowned. Specially composed of people who were able to see through whatever magic that blinded other mortals, of course the Allfather's work, most of the hospital were aware of Patient 49571's true identity. Though Amélie was an Emergency Room healer, not of the intensive care unit. It was clear that those healers had refused to treat Loki.

Being a prince, no matter how subjacent he had become, Loki was privileged compared to other soldiers. Known for his cruelty with the medics, his apparent 'bad condition' was probably from another one of his pranks.

Amélie was also aware how Loki had caused the war. How millions of people were still dying because of him. How millions of families were broken because of him.

How . . .

But as a healer, she had all promised to treat others in unbiased standards, regardless of who and what they were.

And that was why Amélie walked over to the intensive care unit, opened its door, and greeted Loki.

* * *

Loki glanced outside and scowled as he saw the sunlight shine through. He had always hated light. Light was opposite of everything Loki was: brightness, sunlight, happiness. Everything that Loki could not be.

The door of the intensive care unit opened, though without a knock, and entered an unfamiliar healer.

She obviously did not work here. Every healer that resided in this area had dull eyes, from seeing the darkest things of humanity and listening to everything that should never have happened.

Once more, Loki felt a glimmer of guilt. Five months here, and he was already starting to realize how much toll this was taking on this country. It was divided in half, by sorrow and fury and pain.

 _I'm going soft._

The healer approached him and smiled - something very unusual. She looked in about her twenties, tall and strawberry red hair in a ponytail, like all healers had their hair in. Her eyes were as blue as the sky outside, and light sparkled in every inch of her. The darkness was there, though, the darkness of something she should have never seen. Dark circles existed under her eyes as well from overworking and exhaustion. Her nametag read Amélie Kramer, Emergency Room Physician. He had been right. She did not work here.

He couldn't help but smirk. Knowing their animosity, the healers here must've refused to serve him.

The healer sat down, doing the general checks that all healers did. She nodded, seeing the results as satisfactory. She started to leave, before Loki stopped her.

"Amélie." He said, glancing at her for confirmation.

Amélie nodded, looking surprised. He smiled lightly.

"I saw your name tag. I must ask, where are the other healers? Obviously you do not work here." He already knew the answer, but he wanted to hear her say it.

"That's right," Amélie stated. Her voice was slightly edged. No wonder she had heard the talk about him. "I work in the Emergency Room. However … " her lips pursed into a thin line as she looked at him warily. "What am I saying? Of course you know."

Loki couldn't help but smile. The healer was smarter than the others that had came before her.

Not smart enough, though.

Almost at once, the rope Loki hid under his bed reacted as he flicked his wrist, wrapping around the healer's ankle in a loop and tripping her. She fell face-first to the floor. The loud bang echoed around the floors of the hospital, though no one in the unit gave a second glance. They were all too used to it by now.

Loki grinned, expecting the healer to stamp her foot, call for help, or even cry. The young woman, however, simply stood up, untangling her foot from the rope. Loki stared at her, slightly stunned.

He had stayed in the hospital for more than five months, yet no one had been so … calm. So unreactive.

"I suppose the rumors are true." Her tone was skeptical.

Loki met her eyes, the color of an autumn afternoon sky. For some reason it seemed rather frightening, the way she reflected it.

"Do you have any more tricks up your sleeve?"

"Who knows?" Loki responded, another smirk playing on his face.

"After last time, I thought you would have learned your lesson." Loki's smirk vanished as he glanced down at his legs, wrapped in a white plaster cast.

"If you cared about yourself, you'd shut up about them."

"Oh, mighty prince of Asgard," said the healer sarcastically. "You scare me so much that I better fall to my knees and beg you not to hurt me!"

"Maybe you should," Loki commented. He studied her - red hair, blue eyes, nothing too out of the unusual. But she was the first one that had stood up to him so calmly. She was the first one that hadn't treated him with a glare or a groan. "Aren't you scared of me? I am the prince of Asgard."

"The fallen prince of Asgard," she replied. "And even if you were Odin, I won't bow to you. The strong should protect the weak. They have no right to bully us around."

"You know that I'm responsible for this war, right?" Loki couldn't help but like her. Fiery and hotheaded, but at the same time, cold and unemotional.

"As a healer, I've promised to treat others in fairly, no matter who and what they are. And that includes even you." The words came out sorely.

Loki grinned. He could see this healer's oath was important to her, how much she believed in it. He could break someone with that.

"Navїeté in Midgard. How peculiar."

The healer flushed. Though unlike Loki had expected, she did not utter a flurry of furious words at him. She did not show any anger. Instead, she merely turned away.

"Wait!" Loki stopped her, hating the desperation in his voice. Those five months he had been stuck here, and he had always been alone. All the Midgardians turned their back on him, rejected him, just like the Asgardians had. This had been the first proper conversation Loki had managed, and he did not want to throw it away.

The healer turned coolly. Loki gritted his teeth, regretting it almost instantly.

Unlike his expectations, however, the healer did not mention his tone of voice or his choice of words. She instead simply sat down by his bedside, surprising him.

"I'm not very eager to go back to the Emergency Room, either." She sighed lightly. "Just bunch of fools in there who only think of themselves."

Loki raised his eyebrows. "Shouldn't be speaking so casually about your fellow friends, should you?"

"I suppose not." She responded dispassionately, surprising him once more.

"For a doctor, you're very … nonchalant."

She smiled then, a bright smile that lit up her whole face, a smile that brought out her eyes. "You've never seen me in action, have you?"

"Actually, I've never seen you before today."

She laughed. "Well, I've seen you all around the place. You're quite famous, to be honest." The laugh soon turned to a frown as three loud beeps sounded from the patient by the door. She quickly stood up and rushed over, motioning another nurse by the windows as well.

Loki soon drifted off as she continued to stand by the other patient, a worried look on her face. A smirk appeared on his own.

The healer was fun to play with, and though she denied it, she was naїve.

He might have just found the perfect candidate to manipulate.


	3. Chapter 2: Everything, Everything

**Chapter 2: Everything, Everything**

One long dash. Two short dots. One short dot. Another short dot. One long dash. Another long dash. Two short dots. Then a desolate silence that seemed to stretch for eternity.

"Dead." Lydia's voice was thin. "They're all dead."

Amélie stood in shocked silence, as well as the rest of the healers.

The whole fleet was lost. Lost in sea, struck down by a storm. One survivor, who had made through it alone. One survivor.

And no one else.

He was dead as well.

Amèlie felt the loss crash against her, crash against her like a fearless wave did helpless pearls of sand. Crash against her like aircraft to the ocean. Crash against her like her whole world was.

They had dated three months. A kiss. A promise. Then he had vanished forever, leaving her alone in this cruel world of the living that Amèlie now loathed to reside.

She turned, ignoring the sympathetic eyes aimed at her way, heading to the room where her only … semifriend of sorts … would be. He would likely make her even angrier, judging him on the few days she had known him. But Amèlie couldn't do anything else.

"You look depressed," commented Loki as she entered the room. "Something wrong?"

Amèlie glared at him.

"The whole fleet is dead. The fleet that left two weeks ago. They're all goddamn _dead."_

"Oh, how sad," Loki smirked, showing he felt otherwise. "How tears fall from my eyes."

"You didn't know them!" Amèlie hissed, a dangerous edge creeping into her voice. "You didn't know how brave and strong they were! You didn't know how young and intelligent they were, how much they were looking forward to get out of this stupid war _you_ caused and have their normal lives back!"

"You're boyfriend was in there?"

Amèlie realized she had given herself away. She had never stood up for her fellow healers in the few days they had been together, at least not in front of Loki.

" _Yes,"_ she replied, venom dripping in the single word. "And it's all your fault."

"What happened to 'I promise to treat others fairly, no matter who and what they are'?" Loki smirked once more.

"Just … " Amèlie felt herself hating him, felt the anger creeping in. "Just shut up, will you?"

She stormed out of the room, leaving Loki alone. She wasn't about to endure his sarcasm today.

She spent the rest of the day furiously working, trying to lose her grief in work. She tried to forget his smile, his promise, the promise he would return.

But it was impossible.

* * *

 _She had a boyfriend._

The realization stormed his brain, though Loki told himself he did not care. He had only known her for a few days, and she was _nothing,_ nothing but a tool he would use for escape, use for freedom.

In the few days he had gotten to known her, he had realized she had far more to her than it seemed on the outside. Yet he still did not know what it was. A darkness of sorts resided inside, yet every time she saw him, she would push it out with a stronger light.

Over those few days, they had made small talk, though Loki had deemed it as boring and Amèlie as useless. Both had nothing to do; Amèlie had been officially assigned as his healer, being the only one who could really tolerate him. They sat all day in the hospital, Amèlie making the general checks once an hour. So they had submitted to talking, though it resulted in a number of infinite arguments.

Her favorite color was orange, the color of the sunrise. Her favorite hour of the day was the sunset. Her favorite season was spring, when the first dandelion would bloom. They had talked on so forth, though Amèlie would soon complain or he himself would.

He sometimes wished he could leap out of that window beside him. It was like a prison here, though it literally was. Before he had gotten injured, at least he had been allowed outside, to a certain extent. Now he was stuck here, watching something he couldn't have.

Loki continued to tap his fingertips on the edge of his bed, thoughts coming in and out of his head. Thor. Frigga. Odin. The nine realms.

He intended to watch Asgard burn, to remain to nothing but ashes. He intended to watch his once family at his feet, grovelling and begging for his mercy. He intended to break Amèlie Kramer, to use her like he had been used. Yet some dissatisfaction remained with that decision, an empty space Loki could not decipher.

Something was wrong with him, all right, Something big. Except Loki didn't know what it was. The exile to Midgard had changed everything.

Everything.

* * *

As night fell in the Emergency Room, Amélie sat back, a sigh escaping her. She laid down her book back on the table, barely ten chapters through.

A girl. A boy. Two teenagers who had not seen each other for thirteen years. Before, they had been girlfriend and boyfriend. They met again as adults, only for the boy to go off to the army and die there.

 _Goddamn._

The book had only reminded her of painful memories.

She stood her chair, her thoughts and action instinctively going to Loki. Then she remembered her shouting at him, and she sat back down with another groan. Lydia put a hand on her shoulder, a sympathetic look in her eyes.

"I'm sorry about Ryam. He seemed like a promising person."

"He was." Amélie drooped completely. "He absolutely was. Once this damnable war was over, he was going to marry me."

"He already proposed you?" Lydia asked, an expression of surprise on her face. Amélie nodded.

"I should have known, though. A relationship during a war cannot last."

"Some do," responded Lydia. Having no response to this, Amélie merely nodded. A typhoon of sorts clouded her brain, causing her to stare blankly out of the window. It was raining.

Droplets of water slid down the glass. Three years ago, after that family, Amélie had sworn never to cry again. Yet she was tempted, tempted to let that storm break into rain, like the weather outside.

She heard that old voice whisper in her ear, echo throughout her head and mind: _it's not fair._

 _No,_ Amélie thought. _Nothing's ever fair. And it's about time you knew that. Sometimes, things happen for no reason. And sometimes … you can't be always there for them._ She was willing to sacrifice herself for Ryam, if she had been there. But she had not.

And now everything, every part of their relationship had burnt into nothing but ashes.

Perhaps a fire that burnt so brightly, a fire of the fiercest love possible, was not meant to last.


	4. Chapter 3: How This Universe Works

**Chapter 3: How This Universe Works**

It could not be possible.

Natasha Romanoff stood at the edge of a clearing that belonged nowhere and to no one, shock seeping into her like they were sedatives. It found numberless ways into her body and solidified her, made her numb to emotion.

" _Tasha, are you still on?"_

" _I-I'm on, Tony,"_ Natasha spoke, voice trembling. " _Are you sure? Are you absolutely - "_

" _Yes, Tasha,"_ said Tony, voice full with exasperation.

" _It can't be possible. It can't be."_

" _Well, it is,"_ responded Steve. " _I saw it myself. With Tony."_

" _He can't be back! The Allfather - "_ Natasha felt herself shattering, her emotionless facade she had worked so hard to keep up breaking to nothing but bits and pieces.

" _Maybe this is his punishment."_ Bruce's mutter was hardly audible.

" _We have to report this to Fury."_ Clint's voice tuned in, his voice hard with hatred. " _An international criminal is out in Midgard. It's S.H.I.E.L.D.'s duty to capture him and give him what he deserves._

" _Look, we should check this out before anything else,"_ said Natasha, trying to keep calm.

" _We saw it with our own eyes, Tasha."_

" _But still … "_

" _Where is he, again?"_ interrupted Clint.

" _At the Manhattan Union Medical Center. Intensive care unit, for whatever reason it is. Pepper was visiting a friend, and Steve and I went with her … only to see_ him _."_

" _This is insanity,"_ muttered Clint. " _Why would Loki be back now? A year has passed. I thought he would have gotten his punishment at Asgard, and hopefully, would have stayed out of our lives."_

" _We don't know,"_ Tony responded reluctantly. " _Look, Katniss - "_

" _Don't call me Katniss."_

" _Cupid, then."_

" _Must we have this conversation now?"_ inquired Steve, breaking up the argument.

" _I'll be there in about three hours or so when I finish up,"_ Natasha interrupted. " _I'm in Washington."_

Static.

" _Why the hell are you on the other side of the battle?"_ asked Clint, sounding confused.

" _It's complicated. Well, to put it simply, it's a mission."_

" _I heard that Virginia's been defeated,"_ said Bruce darkly. " _It's only a matter of time until they reach New York."_

Sighs.

" _See you there, then."_ Natasha flicked her device off.

She briskly began to walk, comprehending the reasons of what would cause Loki Laufeyson to drop out of thin air in, out of everywhere, a common Midgardian hospital.

* * *

Loki sighed lightly as he put another book down. The libraries of the temporary hospital were limited. Compared to Asgard's, it was nothing. Though he had asked Amélie to bring all the books that she could manage to get, he found he had read most before.

"Permit me to tell you a story, Loki," Amélie's voice interrupted his thoughts. The young healer was smiling, sensing his frustration. Loki sighed.

"Since when did I need to 'permit you'?"

"I guess never."

"I am not a child who needs bedtime stories."

"But perhaps a former god in need of books he cannot have."

Loki tilted his head.

"In a small village of an ordinary town … " Amélie began, taking this as an opening to speak, "lived a girl who could not speak. A girl who was neglected and rejected by all. Her mother and father favored her sister over her, and though her sister believed she treated her fairly, she did not. The mute girl was scorned and screamed at. The tears slid, yet she could not speak.

"And so, another girl asked, "why would you live like this?" She gave her promises of glory and freedom, the promise that no one would ever treat her this way, not ever again. Believing it, the girl went rogue and the town was soon left in destruction. She died in a fire she herself caused.

"Her sister cried for her, realizing how unfair the world had been for her. That she had been foolish by ever thinking she was happy and well. The smile on the girl's face had masked them all, even her own sister.

"So never judge. It's easy to look at people and make quick judgments about them, their present and their past, but you'd be amazed at the pain and tears a single smile hides. What a person shows to the world is only one tiny facet of the iceberg hidden from sight. And more often than not, it's lined with cracks and scars that go all the way to - "

The infirmary door banged open. Amélie stood up quickly, as well as several of the other healers.

"That's - " Amélie was cut short as familiar figures strode into the room. Several gasps audited from the healers. Amongst the whispers, one word rose clearly:

" _Avengers."_

Loki gritted his teeth. This would not go well for him.

"We demand the presence of the former prince, Loki Laufeyson," announced Steve Rogers. "We have received information that he is currently residing in this area." He looked at them expectantly. Eyes turned in Amélie's direction, who silently cursed. Steve nodded briskly, looking back at his comrades.

They continued towards Amélie, who was desperately trying to think of something. An excuse. A reason. A cause.

They instead passed her like she wasn't even there.

"We have to report this to Fury," murmured Natasha, her face back to its neutral state at facing the situation. "The moment we get back - "

"Excuse me," Amélie interrupted. All eyes turned to her almost instantly.

"This hospital consists of highly intellectual people who can see through whatever veil that prevents other mortals from seeing the nine realms. Knowing this, the Allfather has placed Loki Laufeyson here as a punishment, to cause guilt and pain upon him at seeing the suffering of others because of a war he has caused. I am his assigned healer, and I have my say in how he is or how his health is. You're not taking him anywhere without my permission."

"Look," Natasha tried after a dumbfounded silence. "I don't think you know who we are. We're the - "

"Avengers," Amélie responded calmly. "And I see you're agent Natasha Romanoff."

"How did you - "

"We're all over the news, Tasha," said Clint. "She would be stupid not to know us."

"Well, anyway, S.H.I.E.L.D. - "

"I don't give a shit about your organization," Amélie responded, blue fire flashing in her eyes. "Now get out of this room before I force you."

Stunned silence. The Avengers glanced at each other.

"We are S.H.I.E.L.D.," repeated Steve. Realizing his mistake, he quickly added, "or at least, helping them."

"I am perfectly aware of you and your companions' status in that organization."

Steve furrowed his eyebrows. "And so, you are … "

"Amélie Catherine Kramer. Emergency Room Physician."

" … ah. Um, are you engaged in some kind of romantic - "

" _No."_ Two deadly responses. Two deathly glares burning his way. Both Loki and Amélie had called out at the same time.

"I swear, Steve Rogers," Loki muttered, an expression on his face that Steve would have found comical if the god hadn't been so angry. "When I get out of this stupid prison - "

Amélie flashed a glance at him. Impossibly, Loki fell silent.

The avengers exchanged confused looks. This girl was clearly in a special relationship with Loki, but she denied that she was his lover. And yet she supported him fiercely.

"Fury is going to kill us," muttered Tony.

"We could take him by force," Clint suggested.

"I'd rather not tell Fury we had to ask for help to capture an injured, punished, ex-god," Natasha responded scathingly, ignoring Loki's glare.

"Then what's your brilliant idea, Miss Optimism?" inquired Clint irritatedly. Instead of retorting, Natasha turned to Amélie, a new idea blossoming in her head.

"How about a compromise?"

Amélie's eyes flickered warily. "Depends on what it is."

"You don't chase us out, and we don't take Loki. Instead, we'll stay around."

"As in … " Natasha realized she had chosen her words poorly.

"I mean, we'll be around, checking up on both of you, being somewhere we can be easily reached by you two." She saw the younger balance out her choices, comprehending its results. Natasha felt a flicker of respect. It had been a long time since she had met someone so level-headed, yet so intelligent.

"I accept the offer," Amélie concluded. "But as long as Loki accepts."

Natasha's heart sank. Surely he would refuse. All eyes turned to the said, who shrugged boredly.

"Loki … " Amélie warned.

"Fine."

Natasha stared at him in disbelief.

"I suppose it is better than being locked in a prison," he muttered. "Not that I can escape from this place."

"What does that mean?" Clint inquired, frowning.

"Odin has forbidden me to go beyond the boundaries of this battlefield," Loki responded, clearly reluctant to answer.

"So … you're stuck here?"

"One could phrase it that way."

"Great," Clint muttered. "We've got ourselves a banished god, his supposedly unromantic partner, and Nick Fury is going to kill us. How in the name of Helheim did we end up like this?"

* * *

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